Những rộn ràng họp hội mấy giờ trước đã lắng xuống. Tiếng nói, giọng cười ai đó, đã tan vào hư không. Người thân, người sơ, từng gặp, chưa từng gặp, nhìn nhau chào mừng, nói đôi câu, rồi cuối cùng cũng vẫy tay tạm biệt, chia xa. Không còn ai. Trăng khuya soi rạng vườn sau. Những cánh hồng từ các bồn hoa vươn dậy như được tắm gội dưới ánh sáng dìu dịu, tịnh yên. Một mình ngắm hoa dưới trăng. Một mình ngắm trăng trên hoa. Bất chợt, trong một thoáng nhìn mờ ảo, ánh trăng như vỡ thành những bụi tuyết, lãng đãng rơi trên những cánh hoa dưới sương đêm lóng lánh (1).

Đêm không lâu, hoa không bền, nhưng trăng thì miên viễn.

Trong đời sống, cần biết cái gì ngắn hạn, cái gì dài hạn; cần biết cái gì là ngọn, cái gì là gốc.

Gió bão có thể làm gãy đổ những cành nhánh khô, yếu; nhưng nếu gốc rễ vững mạnh, cây vẫn tồn tại. Cây tồn tại, nay mai lại nứt những nhành lá xanh, trổ những hoa quả tươi tốt.

Đã có những tổ chức được dựng nên bằng tất cả nghị lực, gian khó, có khi đánh đổi cả máu xương, hoạt động tốt đẹp, phát triển mau chóng, rạng danh tập thể trong thời gian rồi vì nhiều lý do, nội tại lẫn ngoại tại, dần dần rạn nứt, đổ vỡ, hoặc lụi tàn theo năm tháng.

Đã có những sách báo ra đời, một thời được chào đón nồng nhiệt, người viết người đọc háo hức chờ đợi ngày phát hành, nhưng rồi thị trường in ấn trên giấy giảm sút do kỹ thuật thông tin liên mạng phát triển tột bực, thị hiếu độc giả thay đổi theo: không có thời gian cầm sách báo trên tay để đọc từng hàng chữ, không có thời gian để suy tư ngẫm nghĩ ý tưởng đàng sau những từ ngữ… chỉ muốn nghe hoặc thấy hình ảnh sinh động, không tha thiết

đọc những hàng chữ bất động nữa. Vậy là, người đọc giảm đi, sách không còn in nhiều, báo không cần in dầy, tất cả dần dần giảm sút số trang và số lượng.

Đã có những cuộc tình sôi nổi, mặn nồng lúc ban đầu, thề sống chết bên nhau đời này đời sau, muôn đời sau, nhưng rồi sự cảm thụ và ý tưởng của mỗi người thay đổi dần theo thời gian, tuổi tác. Sắc tàn, chí hao, có người muốn tìm những gì mới lạ, khích động hơn; lại có người nhìn ra những phai tàn trong đời sống, chỉ muốn an thân tịnh dưỡng, buông bỏ tất cả, quay về với chính mình… “Có chút tình thoảng như gió vội, tôi chợt nhìn ra tôi” (2).

Hợp rồi tan, kiến lập rồi giải tán, gặp nhau rồi chia tay, không gì lạ. Đó là bước đi chập chùng tất yếu của cuộc tồn sinh. Nhưng khi nhìn sự vận hành của mọi sự mọi vật theo chiều hướng tích cực hơn, sẽ thấy rằng nếu giữ được cái cốt tủy, cái hồn, cái chân tình của sự thể, thì tan rồi lại hợp, suy rồi lại thịnh, ly tán rồi sẽ đoàn tụ. Cái này tàn rụi để làm hồi sinh một cái gì mới mẻ, phong nhiêu hơn. Không có gì mất hẳn, diệt hẳn trên cuộc đời. Ngày đi, đêm sẽ đến. Đêm tàn, ngày lại sang. Năm cũ qua đi, lại có năm mới về.

Mưa tuyết không rơi trên hoa. Chỉ có hoa, và sương lạnh. Nhưng cái đẹp thơ mộng của vầng trăng đêm qua đã có thể gợi hứng cảm để vẽ nên một bức tranh thần tiên, diễm ảo. Trăng còn, sẽ còn tất cả.

California, cuối tháng 11 năm 2021
Vĩnh Hảo
www.vinhhao.info

______________

1. Mượn hình ảnh từ “Nguyệt chiếu hoa lâm giai tự tản” (月照花林皆似霰), một câu trong bài Xuân giang hoa nguyệt dạ, thơ của Trương Nhược Hư (khoảng 660 – 720), một thi nhân đời Đường, Trung Hoa. Câu này

tiên sinh Tản Đà dịch là “Trăng soi hoa như tán trập trùng”. Chữ tán (nôm) hay tản, tiển (hán-việt) là mưa đá, hay mưa tuyết. Chữ tán mà để nguyên như vậy, thời nay ít người hiểu. Tạm dịch rõ nghĩa như vầy: ánh trăng chiếu trên rừng hoa trông như mưa tuyết.

2. Trịnh Công Sơn, lời từ bài ca “Như một lời chia tay.”



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