Khó thay được làm người, khó thay được sống còn. Khó thay nghe diệu pháp, khó thay Phật ra đời!Kinh Pháp Cú (Kệ số 182)
Của cải và sắc dục đến mà người chẳng chịu buông bỏ, cũng tỷ như lưỡi dao có dính chút mật, chẳng đủ thành bữa ăn ngon, trẻ con liếm vào phải chịu cái họa đứt lưỡi.Kinh Bốn mươi hai chương
Cho dù người ta có tin vào tôn giáo hay không, có tin vào sự tái sinh hay không, thì ai ai cũng đều phải trân trọng lòng tốt và tâm từ bi. (Whether one believes in a religion or not, and whether one believes in rebirth or not, there isn't anyone who doesn't appreciate kindness and compassion.)Đức Đạt-lai Lạt-ma XIV
Tôn giáo không có nghĩa là giới điều, đền miếu, tu viện hay các dấu hiệu bên ngoài, vì đó chỉ là các yếu tố hỗ trợ trong việc điều phục tâm. Khi tâm được điều phục, mỗi người mới thực sự là một hành giả tôn giáo.Đức Đạt-lai Lạt-ma XIV
Cuộc đời là một tiến trình học hỏi từ lúc ta sinh ra cho đến chết đi. (The whole of life, from the moment you are born to the moment you die, is a process of learning. )Jiddu Krishnamurti
Yếu tố của thành công là cho dù đi từ thất bại này sang thất bại khác vẫn không đánh mất sự nhiệt tình. (Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.)Winston Churchill
Quy luật của cuộc sống là luôn thay đổi. Những ai chỉ mãi nhìn về quá khứ hay bám víu vào hiện tại chắc chắn sẽ bỏ lỡ tương lai. (Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.)John F. Kennedy
Ta như thầy thuốc, biết bệnh cho thuốc. Người bệnh chịu uống thuốc ấy hay không, chẳng phải lỗi thầy thuốc. Lại cũng như người khéo chỉ đường, chỉ cho mọi người con đường tốt. Nghe rồi mà chẳng đi theo, thật chẳng phải lỗi người chỉ đường.Kinh Lời dạy cuối cùng
Cuộc sống xem như chấm dứt vào ngày mà chúng ta bắt đầu im lặng trước những điều đáng nói. (Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. )Martin Luther King Jr.
Ví như người mù sờ voi, tuy họ mô tả đúng thật như chỗ sờ biết, nhưng ta thật không thể nhờ đó mà biết rõ hình thể con voi.Kinh Đại Bát Niết-bàn
VỀ MỤC LỤC
Chúng ta hãy thừa nhận một sự thật, mỗi chúng ta đều có ít nhất là một
vài điều nào đó không được hài lòng đối với ý trung nhân của mình. Cho
dù các bạn có may mắn có được một mối quan hệ tâm đầu ý hợp đến đâu đi
chăng nữa, thì trong suốt quá trình sống chung ngày này sang ngày khác,
năm này sang năm khác, cũng sẽ có những khía cạnh nhất định nào đó làm
cho người bạn đời của bạn đôi lúc không hài lòng và phải âm thầm chịu
đựng.
Hiểu được điều này, chúng ta sẽ có thể giải quyết vấn đề ngay từ khi nó còn chưa đến mức phải bộc lộ ra. Và cách tốt nhất để bạn biết được điều gì đang diễn ra trong suy nghĩ của vợ hoặc chồng mình là hãy thẳng thắn đặt câu hỏi trong một bối cảnh thích hợp. Có điều gì không tốt trong cách ứng xử hoặc trong tính cách của bạn?
Đôi khi, bạn có thể tự nhận biết những khuyết điểm của mình mà không cần phải hỏi anh ấy hay cô ấy. Và đôi khi bạn nhận biết được qua những phản ứng lập lại nhiều lần của anh ấy hay cô ấy với những hành vi hoặc thái độ nào đó của bạn. Nhưng những điều đó có ý nghĩa hoàn toàn khác với một cuộc đối thoại trực tiếp.
Việc đối thoại trực tiếp và cởi mở sẽ đặt vấn đề ra theo một chiều hướng hoàn toàn tích cực, vì nó tạo ra sự thân mật, tin cậy giữa người hỏi và người đáp. Vào một dịp thích hợp nào đó – tất nhiên là bạn biết có rất nhiều dịp như thế trong quan hệ vợ chồng – hãy đặt ra những câu hỏi thẳng thắn. Hãy đề nghị anh ấy hoặc cô ấy nói cho bạn biết những khía cạnh nào là không tốt của bạn
Hiểu được điều này, chúng ta sẽ có thể giải quyết vấn đề ngay từ khi nó còn chưa đến mức phải bộc lộ ra. Và cách tốt nhất để bạn biết được điều gì đang diễn ra trong suy nghĩ của vợ hoặc chồng mình là hãy thẳng thắn đặt câu hỏi trong một bối cảnh thích hợp. Có điều gì không tốt trong cách ứng xử hoặc trong tính cách của bạn?
Đôi khi, bạn có thể tự nhận biết những khuyết điểm của mình mà không cần phải hỏi anh ấy hay cô ấy. Và đôi khi bạn nhận biết được qua những phản ứng lập lại nhiều lần của anh ấy hay cô ấy với những hành vi hoặc thái độ nào đó của bạn. Nhưng những điều đó có ý nghĩa hoàn toàn khác với một cuộc đối thoại trực tiếp.
Việc đối thoại trực tiếp và cởi mở sẽ đặt vấn đề ra theo một chiều hướng hoàn toàn tích cực, vì nó tạo ra sự thân mật, tin cậy giữa người hỏi và người đáp. Vào một dịp thích hợp nào đó – tất nhiên là bạn biết có rất nhiều dịp như thế trong quan hệ vợ chồng – hãy đặt ra những câu hỏi thẳng thắn. Hãy đề nghị anh ấy hoặc cô ấy nói cho bạn biết những khía cạnh nào là không tốt của bạn
trong quan hệ giữa hai người. Trong việc
xây dựng một mối quan hệ tốt đẹp dài lâu, thái độ tích cực này sẽ có ý
nghĩa nhiều hơn là bạn tưởng.
Nếu sự chân thành và cởi mở của bạn đủ để anh ấy hay cô ấy nói ra điều gì đó, đó sẽ là cơ hội rất tốt để các bạn ngăn ngừa trước một hiểm họa trong tương lai.
Nếu là một khuyết điểm nhỏ, nó sẽ được hóa giải theo hai cách. Thứ nhất, bạn sẽ biết để chú ý khắc phục. Thứ hai, vì các bạn đã cùng nhau đề cập đến vấn đề, anh ấy hoặc cô ấy sẽ cảm thấy dễ chịu hơn ngay cả khi bạn chưa thể khắc phục hoàn toàn khuyết điểm của mình ngay lập tức.
Nếu là một vấn đề nghiêm trọng hơn, các bạn sẽ có cơ hội để cùng nhau thảo luận sâu hơn, và cũng có thể bàn đến cả những biện pháp để cùng nhau khắc phục.
Một điểm tế nhị trong vấn đề là khi bạn chọn giải pháp công khai tìm hiểu vấn đề, sự chân thành và cởi mở của bạn sẽ có thể làm cho mọi việc thay đổi. Nhiều “thói xấu” nhỏ nhặt của bạn trước đây có thể làm cô ấy hơi khó chịu, nhưng có thể sẽ không được cô ấy nói ra, và sau thái độ tích cực của bạn chúng sẽ trở thành những điều không đáng kể hoặc thậm chí có thể trở thành “đáng yêu” là khác. Bạn biết đấy, điều rất dễ hiểu là “khi thương quả ấu cũng tròn” mà.
Và nếu mọi việc diễn tiến theo hướng tích cực, có thể bạn cũng sẽ nhận được những câu hỏi tương tự từ cô ấy hay anh ấy. Và các bạn sẽ cùng nhau tích cực hoàn thiện mối quan hệ của mình. Nhưng ngay cả cho dù không nhận được một phản ứng tích
Nếu sự chân thành và cởi mở của bạn đủ để anh ấy hay cô ấy nói ra điều gì đó, đó sẽ là cơ hội rất tốt để các bạn ngăn ngừa trước một hiểm họa trong tương lai.
Nếu là một khuyết điểm nhỏ, nó sẽ được hóa giải theo hai cách. Thứ nhất, bạn sẽ biết để chú ý khắc phục. Thứ hai, vì các bạn đã cùng nhau đề cập đến vấn đề, anh ấy hoặc cô ấy sẽ cảm thấy dễ chịu hơn ngay cả khi bạn chưa thể khắc phục hoàn toàn khuyết điểm của mình ngay lập tức.
Nếu là một vấn đề nghiêm trọng hơn, các bạn sẽ có cơ hội để cùng nhau thảo luận sâu hơn, và cũng có thể bàn đến cả những biện pháp để cùng nhau khắc phục.
Một điểm tế nhị trong vấn đề là khi bạn chọn giải pháp công khai tìm hiểu vấn đề, sự chân thành và cởi mở của bạn sẽ có thể làm cho mọi việc thay đổi. Nhiều “thói xấu” nhỏ nhặt của bạn trước đây có thể làm cô ấy hơi khó chịu, nhưng có thể sẽ không được cô ấy nói ra, và sau thái độ tích cực của bạn chúng sẽ trở thành những điều không đáng kể hoặc thậm chí có thể trở thành “đáng yêu” là khác. Bạn biết đấy, điều rất dễ hiểu là “khi thương quả ấu cũng tròn” mà.
Và nếu mọi việc diễn tiến theo hướng tích cực, có thể bạn cũng sẽ nhận được những câu hỏi tương tự từ cô ấy hay anh ấy. Và các bạn sẽ cùng nhau tích cực hoàn thiện mối quan hệ của mình. Nhưng ngay cả cho dù không nhận được một phản ứng tích
cực như thế cũng không sao. Đừng đòi hỏi cô
ấy hoặc anh ấy phải làm điều tương tự như bạn. Chỉ một nỗ lực từ phía
bạn cũng đủ để hoàn thiện rất nhiều cho mối quan hệ của các bạn rồi.
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Viên Hiếu Thành Huệ Lộc 1959 Bữu Phước Chúc Huy Minh Pháp Tự minh hung thich Diệu Âm Phúc Thành Phan Huy Triều Phạm Thiên Trương Quang Quý Johny Dinhvinh1964 Pascal Bui Vạn Phúc Giác Quý Trần Thị Huyền Chanhniem Forever NGUYỄN TRỌNG TÀI KỲ Dương Ngọc Cường Mr. Device Tri Huynh Thích Nguyên Mạnh Thích Quảng Ba T TH Tam Thien Tam Nguyễn Sĩ Long caokiem hoangquycong Lãn Tử Ton That Nguyen ngtieudao Lê Quốc Việt Du Miên Quang-Tu Vu phamthanh210 An Khang 63 zeus7777 Trương Ngọc Trân Diệu Tiến ... ...
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Viên Hiếu Thành Huệ Lộc 1959 Bữu Phước Chúc Huy Minh Pháp Tự minh hung thich Diệu Âm Phúc Thành Phan Huy Triều Phạm Thiên Trương Quang Quý Johny Dinhvinh1964 Pascal Bui Vạn Phúc Giác Quý Trần Thị Huyền Chanhniem Forever NGUYỄN TRỌNG TÀI KỲ Dương Ngọc Cường Mr. Device Tri Huynh Thích Nguyên Mạnh Thích Quảng Ba T TH Tam Thien Tam Nguyễn Sĩ Long caokiem hoangquycong Lãn Tử Ton That Nguyen ngtieudao Lê Quốc Việt Du Miên Quang-Tu Vu phamthanh210 An Khang 63 zeus7777 Trương Ngọc Trân Diệu Tiến ... ... ... ...