Cha mẹ nó lớn tuổi mới cưới nhau. Hồi đó, gia đình nghèo khó. Mẹ mất sớm, cha tần tảo nuôi 3 anh em. Nhà gần sông, nhưng cha đau yếu, ít khi có được cá mà ăn, khi nào có được bữa cá là thịnh soạn lắm. Nó còn nhớ, mỗi lúc ăn cá, cha thường bảo: “Để tao ăn đầu và xương”.

Nó nhanh nhẩu: “Tại sao hả ba?”

- “Vì cha già rồi, hay đau đầu, nên ăn đầu thì nó sẽ bớt đau - cái này gọi là ăn óc bổ óc, hiểu không? Xương yếu, ăn xương thì sẽ cứng cáp hơn. Có vậy mà cũng không hiểu hả?”

Tâm hồn trẻ con, ba đứa nó đinh ninh là cha nói thật. Mỗi lúc đến bữa ăn, nó còn nhanh nhẩu xẻ ra từng phần, bỏ đầu và xương qua cho cha nó, ba anh em chia nhau phần thịt.

Có những lúc nó cũng phân vân, nhưng cha nó bảo: “Hồi nhỏ, ông bà nội cho ăn thịt mãi, giờ nhìn thịt là thấy ớn. Sau này lớn các con cũng như ba thôi.”

Thấm thoắt thoi đưa, anh em nó lớn lên, và cha nó già đi. Sau này đủ hiểu biết, khi nó nhận ra những lời cha nói trước đây là nói dối, thì cũng là lúc đời sống của gia đình khấm khá hơn. Anh em nó có thể thay cha đi đò, đi sông, mò cua, thả cá. Vì thế mà cha nó cũng thỉnh thoảng ăn thịt, hay ăn thường xuyên nó cũng chẳng nhớ. Tuổi trẻ bồng bột - không ngẫm nghĩ nhiều về yêu thương - hay vì cha nó cố tìm cách cho lời nói được anh em nó chấp nhận hơn, nó cũng chẳng còn nhớ.

Để đến hôm nay, nó đã thành đạt. Cuộc sống hối hả… nó cũng chẳng bao giờ đoái hoài đến cái đầu, hay miếng xương cá. Vì những thứ đó đã được vợ nó bỏ đi khi lên mâm cơm.

Hôm nay là ngày giỗ

lần thứ 10 của cha nó, di ảnh cha gầy còm, nhưng nụ cười tươi sáng. Nhìn con cá chiên to, lấp lánh mỡ mà vợ đặt lên bàn thờ, nó chợt bất giác rơi lệ. Một cơn đau từ đâu hiện về nhói lòng vô tận. Nó quay mặt đi để lau hàng lệ, giấu vợ con.

Nó không thể quên hình dáng cha già còm cõi, xiêu vẹo bước đi bên sông, “cha đi thả cá mùa nước nổi”. Rồi sau đó là những trận thương hàn triền miên hành hạ ông. Nó khấn: “Nếu cha ăn nhiều thịt hơn, thì đã không già yếu như thế”. Bất giác, nó nghe những tiếng “ba!” kêu lên từ trong cổ họng.

Đến lúc thức cúng đem ra bàn ăn. Nhìn vợ xẻ con cá, bỏ đi phần đầu và xương, nó giữ tay vợ lại: “Em, để anh ăn đầu, đừng bỏ đi”.


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